Wouldn’t the Batman series have been a hell of a lot more interesting had Burton continued to expand on his Gotham fable? Sure, it could have ended up as misguided and messy as “Spider-Man 3,” but I can’t see it scraping the bottom of the barrel like Schumacher’s “vision.” Talk about turning sizzling sexual tension (who knew De Vito and Pfeiffer would have so much chemistry?) into eye-rolling puns and double entendres. I guess the tides of blockbusters are ultimately turned by the profits, and the fact is that “Returns” made 35% less than its predecessor with a bigger budget, three years later. And “Forever” was a good deal higher, so Schumacher got to stay on for another go-around. Whoops.
And no, I don’t know why my little brother and cousin have watched “Batman,” “Batman Returns,” and “Batman Forever” today. It’s been a good day being snowed in my THE GREAT BLIZZARD OF OH-TEN, but I’ve had my fucking fill of this. Maybe I am going a little stir crazy.